Been in the pub since half past five
All day long I've laughed and cried
I'm like you I need a drink or two
Mum's down the bingo it's Friday night
Dad's down the dogtrack I hope he has a fight
I'm alright I know what I want tonight

I'm gonna get my end away
I'm gonna get my end away
I'm gonna get my evil way

I don't know what I'm doing
But I don't care
I'd better go to the loo
I'm just about to ...bleugh
But I'm like you I need a drink or two
I wanna girl but there's nothing in here
Just old men and pints of beer
But I'll be alright if I get what I want tonight

I wanna get my end away
I wanna get my end away
I wanna have my evil way

Oh look at that Harry lovely innit
Innit handsome hey oh what a pair on that
What could you do with that
I could do with that definitely
Oi darling, over here love, come on
Come and have a good time with us

I wanna get my end away
I wanna get my end away
I wanna have my evil way