My teeth are breakin I can't afford to fix them
The nerves are stinging and it looks bad then
They bustin to pieces and I spit em in the sink
Exactly like an Anne Murray song about an ice rink
My teeth are sharp but unlike a shark
I sit on my couch and do nothing in the dark
Shark's don't use floss with flippers too short
Piranah's breed, please abort

If there's a question there is an answer
I don't know what it is when I see her, Alaska
Trevor Shand he wrote some words for this beat an he sung them like
This I turned them down flat
Singin some bullshit about a cheerleader what do I care bout that?
A shark and a tooth and a snowbird to spare
Spread your tiny wings and fly away, dental care

All this talk of underwater life it makes me think
About what ahppens to the toothpaste I spit down the sink
I have never considered myself no Jaques Cousteau
Gums are healthy teeth are cracked where does the toothpaste go?

Who's gonna hold my hand when I piss?
Who's gonna put their hand in the stream?
Who's gonna sweep up all the teeth?
Dentist said my mouth was clean