Sippin' Shirley Thompson is a gas
Anytime you see her you can always count on Shirley for a glass
She knows more words with just four letters than the dictionary ever had
She uses them to color up the stories of the simple life she's led

Sippin' Shirley Thompson doesn't care
She's 39 and feelin' fine and not much up to goin' anywhere
Her husband is a bible salesman and at 39 his hair fell out

She said there's not a hair between him and the heaven that he talks about
Sippin' Shirley Thompson is a pal
An ordinary woman who'll sit and dish the dirt with all the gals
She said I don't believe in bein' somethin' that the people know you're not
But when she's at home alone nobody knows that sippin' Shirley cries a lot
Sippin' Shirley Thompson is a gas...