They pose symmetrical

Scattered through the Echo Hall

Works of art in pensive phase

With the worldy critics gaze

And there's a special one

Another convert to the throng

And maybe in her wildest dreams she is a human

But anyone with brains can see she is the new one



The artist uses short brush strokes just like the master

Wave the finished product in the air to dry it faster

Then they spray themselves with anti-tarnish ultragloss

It reduces flaking and this cramps(?) would come

WIth hanging on the cross



How to be a Happy Statue

Five easy tips in our next issue

Youmight have thought all hope was lost

But now the chance is yours - and for a reasonable cost



She does her face in Cubist fashion like the others

Tonight the curator protects them with blue covers

And what's the point of looking pretty with no audience?

And won't you find it sad that beauty's based on inexperience?



And as for her we heard she had a little accident

Someonetipped her over and her face received a fatal dent

So it's all over because who likes imperfection?

Her only hope is that it might become a fashion



See only certainty

Bargain hunting destiny

Maybe she'll redeem herself with mightiness from off the shelf

Thus concludes the story of the Echo Gallery

Visit any time to see the fools who sold themselves to slavery



How to be a Happy Statue

Five easy tips in our next issue

You might have thought all hope was lost

But now the chance is here - and for a reasonable cost