Let me express myself ever so graphically
Of kids prostrated on the altar so seductively
They drive me mad, they drive me wild, they make my habit chafe
As long as I'm around no child alive is safe

Molesting kids taking them home it's a dirty job but someone's got to do it
Swear to me that you'll never falter and I'll stick it right up your altar
I'm a Catholic pious as hell but I love it when those children yell
None of the girls only the boys stick it in hard with some room for toys

Wait for the bell to ring children flocking in
Hold them behind after class to engage in original sin
Don't be scared don't be afraid, what would Jesus do?
He'd bend over, a smile on his face, and wait for the Holy Glue

Don't you tell never grow old
Don't you tell do as you're told
Be my Peter Pan